When I started this blog just over a year ago, I envisioned posting a reflection every week or so. I thought that I'd find all of these cutesy ways in which I have seen God during my week, or in my kids, or through others. Little did I know that barely two weeks after I first posted, our lives would change and we would truly see God's goodness and mercy in the depths of our hearts, shown to us by the most caring of friends and family.
One year ago today, our lives were turned upside down. My father-in-law died by suicide. We were completely shaken and devastated. During the first weeks and months, so many people surrounded us with love and prayers. We are eternally grateful to God for these people.
One year later, we are still working at trying to figure out life on this side of this complicated grief. It has been a difficult year, filled with tears and struggles, support groups and private rants. We have had to come to terms with the fact that we will never understand why this has happened. We have had to realize that it has changed us...IS changing us still...and that we must rely on each other and our friends and family for the support we need to continue to grieve and heal.
I don't know that we will ever fully finish grieving this loss. There will always be things that happen that bring it to our minds and open the wound again. But I have found over this past year that when that happens, someone will be there to help us through it. We are not in this alone. And for that I am so thankful.
It is my hope that I can start blogging more frequently now. I do not want to dwell on my grief, although that may come in at times. What I do want to do is experience this life to the fullest and truly appreciate all that God has given to me and my family.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me!
